We’ve been struggling with sleep on and off since Little Bear was born. It’s never been horrible, but we have chosen not to use “Cry it Out” techniques so our progress has been slow. At first, she was a great sleeper. She had jaundice and we had to wake her up all the time to eat. A few times, I remember I didn’t wake up to my alarm in the middle of the night and I awoke the next morning to find that she had slept 6 or 7 hours straight.
That ended soon enough, though. At some point we purchased “Happiest Baby on the Block” and used the “5 S’s” to calm Little Bear down regularly. It worked great, except that it got us to the point where she HAD to be swaddled, swung, shhh’d, etc. Again, fine for awhile but every time she woke up, she needed to be lulled back to sleep and Papa and I were getting tired.
We decided after awhile to bed-share with Little Bear and went through a period of putting her crib in a side-car arrangement. I liked that because it gave her space (in theory) but in reality she just wormed her way over to my side every night.
So we bought a bed rail (Smart, right?). That solved the problem of the bedsharing aspect, as far as safety, but not her falling asleep by herself. Often times, she would drift off while drinking a bottle or nursing, but rarely on her own.
At some point, we took the side off the crib (it made her mad) and hoped that the transition to a “big girl bed” would help. We tried first with the mattress directly on the floor and that helped, but only because one of us could cuddle her to sleep. And don’t get me wrong, I love that, but this was taking 1-2 hours per night.
We raised the bed (put the mattress back onto the crib frame) and I tried sitting with her and telling her, over and over, to lie down. But this little one is stubborn and it was turning into a power struggle. She’s only 14 months, mind you, so imagine what would happen if I get in to power struggles this early on! Anyway, I finally referred back to the wisdom of none other than Super Nanny and tried her bedtime technique. Basically I sat by the bed and did nothing except put her back when she climbed out. No talking, no singing, just back in the bed. Well it took 59 times out (no crying, though) in about that many minutes to get her to lie down and go to sleep. That was last night. Today for morning nap, it took 14 times out in about a half an hour before she was down and just now, for afternoon nap, she was asleep in 15 minutes, 0 times out of bed.
I hate to put it on “paper” because Heaven knows I’ll jinx something but it appears that we may have finally solved our problem. Don’t think it wasn’t without anguish, though. I’m just leaving out all the gruesome parts for the sake of brevity. Believe me, during last night’s escapade, I was just picturing that little counter on the night-cam that the use on the show… anyway. Here is a picture I just took of her sleeping soundly. It’s not great, as far as artistic merit, but to mark a milestone, it’s perfect.
Post Script: As a parent, especially a first time one, you feel so much more comfortable with “A plan.” I think the reason plans appeal to me, at least, is that it allows me to try new ideas but not have to feel the weight of responsibility if it doesn’t work. Instead of my idea failing, it’s the “No Cry Sleep Solution” that is failing. Also, if used right, the plan should exhibit consistency where, in my experience, lots of parents fall short. It doesn’t matter what plan you’re using, but if your child can’t be sure that the same things will happen in the same order, almost every time, of course they won’t feel secure enough to fall asleep.
That said, here’s an interesting article someone brought to my attention recently. Basically, the author outlines a plan to get bedsharing kids to put themselves to sleep. He makes a few good points, though, that I think are applicable when you’re trying any plan. Number one:
“I don’t recommend any forced sleep changes during the first year of life. Probably the only exception to this would be an emergency involving a nursing mom’s health. There are many suggestions in books and magazines for pushing “sleeping through the night” during a baby’s early months or during the first year. I don’t think this is the best thing to do and I am quite sure that the earlier a baby gets “non-response” from parents, the more likely he is to close down at least a little.”
I absolutely agree with this but, then, you could probably figure that out since I posted it. Anyway, the second is this:
“If, at any point this is feeling “wrong” to you, stop, wait some months and start over. Don’t go against your “gut instincts” which tell you that this is the wrong time to get longer sleep intervals from your baby. Your instincts are better than any sleep-modification program ever written.”
That is so, so important. Believe me, there were times (many times) when I thought that whatever stage of sleep issues we were in would never pass. But they all did, and soon you’re on to worrying about something else. It goes by so fast. Cherish the moments when your baby is awake and for goodness sake, cherish the ones when he or she is asleep. Go get that pedicure. Read that book. You deserve it!
