Happy birthday Little Bear!

And just like that, you are three.

We have been talking about your birthday for months. Ever since Mama’s in January, birthdays have been a BIG THING around these parts. We practice singing, we have a pretend cake, and there’s even an iPhone app for blowing out candles. Early on, we settled on a Fancy Nancy party. I say “we” because, while you love Fancy Nancy (and, certainly, all things fancy), I’m sure you would have picked a princess theme if I gave you complete choice over it. But Fancy Nancy was good enough and we set out to prepare a soiree.

Of course, the best laid plans, as you know, often fall through. But your uncles were kind enough to let me use their apartment (which is WAY fancier than our suburban home) and we made sure to write “black tie” on the invitation. You spent days deciding which dress to wear and whether to go with the silver tiara or the pink one (both, in the end). I even let you help decorate the cake!

And the party was wonderful. It was a gorgeous sunny day but even without air conditioning, the apartment was at a comfortable temperature. You were thrilled as each set of guests showed up and you entertained everyone by twirling, dancing around, and singing “You are my Sunshine.” The dress up box was a big hit, too, though our “photo booth” area didn’t get used as much as I would have liked. 6 other friends showed up, between the ages of 3 and 6. It was a perfect amount, as all of the other 25-or-so guests were adults. And I got a few pictures, despite only having one working camera.

But it’s hard, my love, because some of the qualities that I love about you, that you are determined and headstrong, make it really hard to take pictures of you. You have such a shining personality. Ever since you were born, people have commented that looking at you makes them happier; that there is something in your eyes that lights up a room. It is so frustrating not to be able to capture that on film and looking at these pictures made me sad for a moment.

And then, I saw this picture:

and I remembered how carefully you studied the snacks that papa bought before you chose some. You paid close attention to what was offered (all your favorites) before making your choices. I can almost see your little brain working sometimes and this expression perfectly captures that.

And this one:

and I remember how for the week or so before your party, you asked every morning if today was the day the children were coming to celebrate. You were so thrilled to see your best friends there to celebrate you and they were equally excited to be a part of your big day.

And this picture? Well this picture:

this is your smile. This is the smile that we see so often in real life and so rarely on the camera. You love to laugh. More than anything else you love everything silly, surprising, ticklish, or goofy. When you play hide-and-seek, you can barely contain your joyful laughter long enough for anyone to find you and you positively shriek if anyone comes close to nuzzling your neck.

I am so, so proud to be your mama, my little Bear. You are so smart and amaze us every day with your vocabulary and thinking. You are loving, empathetic, creative, determined, courageous, and thoughtful. I am so happy you enjoyed your party, even though it fell short of the one in my head and I hope that you remember, every year, how many people are so thankful that you are in their lives.

I know I am.